To the ‘righteous’ 

girl with braided hair standing while carrying boy wearing beige long sleeved top
Photo by Dazzle Jam on

Were you not aware of contraception? Couldn’t you keep your leg closed? Some of the most insensitive question you can ask a single mother me being one of them. It isn’t once or twice have I been asked these sort of questions but severally.

Have you ever imagined, in your insensitive mind, what a single mother must have gone through? The torture, the blackmail and betrayal.

Have you ever sat down and thought maybe she was a victim of rape? Young, naive and afraid, she wasn’t able to report and hence couldn’t receive help; in a patriarchal society where the victims of rape are stigmatized. Have you ever in your comfortable mind thought that she was betrayed and abused by someone respectful and whom she trusted and that no one believed her when she explained herself. Attention seeker, they said. She has no shame at all. Have you?

Have you ever, in your self-righteousness, thought that she was betrayed by a man she loved? She was once a nubile maiden, exploited by an emotional swindler. That she gave him her whole with no fear. That she allowed herself to pleasure him knowing that he wouldn’t leave her for anything. But he was a man-boy. His manhood characterised by the presence of a penis, hairy chest and a deep voice. He vanished into thin air when she told him she was pregnant, having called her unmentionable names. Have you ever wondered how it felt, the betrayal?

Have you, in your seat of judgment, ever thought why is it always a woman’s duty to see to it that she doesn’t conceive? Why don’t they ask the man responsible if he didn’t know there is a condom or vasectomy or withdrawal? Why always the woman? Have you ever wondered why is chastity expected from a woman yet she can’t expect that from the man? Have you?

Have ever, Mr or Mrs Righteousness, thought the stigma she underwent, the tears she cried and the shame she faced. That she severally consider abortion or suicide but the will to live, respect of life and the fear of guilt drove her. Have you ever imagined that several of those you consider righteous have carried out abortions?

Have you ever thought that it was her choice to be a single mother? That she was tired of an irredeemable coward who had continuously abused her and made her his punching bag. The emotional swindler, who aroused her love with no intention of loving her back. She was once pure maiden but was made a shell of herself. She had to move on and leave him before it was too late.

You don’t think she exhibits strength and courage. Taking up the role of both a mother and a father. Much more than any man could do. You think she is a stupid whore, just because she gave birth before marriage. As if she made love to herself. Your mind speaks of nothing but hate for her. Is it because you have impregnated several women and left them? Does it pain you that they neither aborted nor depended on you? Do you, Mr righteousness see your past in them? Do they remind you of your failure as a man?

And to you Miss Righteousness, do you feel guilty when you see single women succeed? Do they remind you of your several abortions? That you gave up easily. Do they, Miss Judge, remind you of your barren womb?


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