What a great experience. It all starts with the missing of your monthly period, then nausea, vomiting, moods swings and headache. As days go by you forget how it feels to wake up fine and happy. For the first three to four months, you forget how sweet the smell of frying onions is for it becomes nauseating. You are afraid of eating your favorite foods because you are afraid of bloating and heartburns. Roasted clay ( udongo) becomes your favourite meal.
As these symptoms decrease, your appetite increases. You eat with abandon. You, for a moment, forget that you were watching weight, that you had taken up the no carb challenge. You grow fat and ugly. You no longer care about how you look or what you wear. You can no longer wear your favorite clothes. If you are unlucky enough, huge pimples and black spots appear on your face, back and chest. Your legs, most of the times, are swollen and cracked. Cracked because you can’t bend down to scrub them.
You start looking at everyone with suspicion. Wondering why they are staring at you. Your moods become unpredictable. Everyone you think is beautiful than you becomes your enemy.
And don’t be lied by the beautiful baby bumps photographs. Those are photoshopped. Your skin, especially around the breast, the stomach and the waist, becomes uneven. The even skin is replaced with ugly and itchy stretch marks. As your stomach grows bigger, the stretch marks become more prominent.
The climax of this long wonderful experience comes after fourty weeks. You experience excruciating pains around your lower abdomen and back. You have to spread your legs to let them measure dilation… You have to let prying fingers into your most private part. You have to push a human head out of that small opening. If you are unlucky, you will burst. And then you will have to let those prying hands in again to stitch it back. And you have to wait for a month to fully heal. If you want to maintain its tightness you may choose to have your lower abdomen (womb) ripped open and a small human being removed. Then you will be stitched back and then wait for several months to heal.
The best thing is that you will avoid long queues at supermarkets, bus stage and banks for several months. You will be accorded with VIP treatment. Rudeness and uncouth behaviour are forgiven. They all understand what you are going through, don’t they?
What a wonderful experience. Y’all should try it.